I like wooden bread boards and chopping boards
wine from Bordeaux
smorgasbords and groaning boards
(and don’t mind being below the salt.)
I like board shorts …but only worn on the waist
Stand Up Paddle boards and outboard motors.
I like boarding aeroplanes and real boarding passes
and on-board service
being on board any water craft
….except ship-board cruises.
I am terrified of ever being bored (see above re cruises.)
I like boardwalks
…..but not Boardwalk Empire
I like wide plank wooden flooring boards, 2″X2″ timber boards and emery boards
and printed circuit boards cut up and made into jewellery.
I don’t like Executive boards, or Boards of Directors, especially Bord Telecom
but do I like the Electricity Supply Board and Bord Gais because they work,
the Cork Harbour Board and the Irish Tourist Board
because it is now 32 county, and Ireland’s an island.
I like Dermot Desmond’s Board room.
I like advisory boards and appeals boards
….but not disciplinary boards, examination boards or editorial boards.
I like keyboards and motherboards
and memory boards that you can Put Interesting Things On
but I don’t much like on-line message boards
or white boards ….they don’t stay white
I like notice boards when they give useful information
but not in train stations when they speak of delays, incidents on the line (suicides, cows crossing, leaves) and station closures
I like ironing boards, the heavier and wider the better
and some board games…..but not many.
I don’t like boarding houses or full board in hotels
….except at Le Presbytère in Thézan-lès-Béziers
and the Executive Club floor at the Mandarin Oriental, Marina Bay in Singapore.
I don’t like score boards except in Irish general elections
and the Eurovision song contest.
I don’t like treading the boards, boarding schools or diving boards, beauty board
‘Baby on Board’ signs on cars
or fibre board…except as a base for art.
I like when reductions in shops are across the board
Menu boards and newspaper boards
Running boards on cars and old fashioned switchboards with retracting cables,
though I know I’d cut everyone off.