Boards

BOARDS

I like wooden bread boards and chopping boards

wine from Bordeaux

smorgasbords and groaning boards

(and don't mind being below the salt.)

I like board shorts ...but only worn on the waist

Stand Up Paddle boards and outboard motors.

I like boarding aeroplanes and real boarding passes

and on-board service

being on board any water craft

....except ship-board cruises.

I am terrified of ever being bored (see above re cruises.)

I like boardwalks

.....but not Boardwalk Empire

I like wide plank wooden flooring  boards, 2"X2" timber boards and emery boards

and printed circuit boards cut up and made into jewellery.

I don't like Executive boards, or Boards of Directors, especially Bord Telecom

but do I like the Electricity Supply Board and Bord Gais because they work,

the Cork Harbour Board and the Irish Tourist Board 

because it is now 32 county, and Ireland's an island.

I like Dermot Desmond's Board room.

I like advisory boards and appeals boards

....but not disciplinary boards, examination boards or editorial boards.

I like keyboards and motherboards

and memory boards that you can Put Interesting Things On

but I don't much like on-line message boards

or white boards ....they don't stay white

I like notice boards when they give useful information

but not in train stations when they speak of delays, incidents on the line (suicides,cows crossing, leaves) and station closures

I like ironing boards, the heavier and wider the better

and some board games.....but not many.

I don't like boarding houses or full board in hotels

....except at Le Presbytère in Thézan-lès-Béziers

and the Executive Club floor at the Mandarin Oriental, Marina Bay in Singapore.

I don't like score boards except in Irish  general elections

and the Eurovision song contest.

I don't like treading the boards, boarding schools or diving boards, beauty board

'Baby on Board' signs on cars

or fibre board...except as a base for art.

I like when reductions in shops are across the board

Menu boards and newspaper boards

Running boards on cars and old fashioned switchboards with retracting cables,

though I know I'd cut everyone  off.